Dangerous Women

I grew up on the songs of the Eagles; they were the band that got me through college and still brighten my days. I actually met them once, when they were in London recording 'Desperado', their second album. This was around the time they played a gig in London's Royal Festival Hall, a small venue.

I love the harmonies and the guitars but what made the Eagles big were of course the songs--and they're not typical love songs; they're mostly songs about love that has been lost and women that can burn you even as they make your life meaningful. The women are there right from the first Eagles song any of us ever heard: Take It Easy.

I teach a lesson on the lyrics to two of these dangerous women songs: One Of These Nights and Hotel California: 'the full moon is calling/ the fever is high/ the wicked wind whispers and moans... dreams/ screams...been searching for the daughter of the Devil himself/ I've been searching for an Angel in white/ I've been waiting for a woman who's a little of both/ and I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight'. Wow! Always wow! The alliteration, imagery, symbolism and the always human pull of the dark side. This was the band's most creative period and the time of their international breakthrough to stadium superstardom. Well-crafted songs: lasting works of art; stories of dangerous women.

A Wine Guide To Women

If the path to bliss begins with a kiss, why do you end up with blisters? Learn this: there are four basic types of women out there, types analogous to wines.
- semi-sweet 

These are the honeys who will cheat you. Attractive, easily approachable, they smile so sweetly, but their looks flatter in order to deceive.
- dry
 The unresponsive cold shoulder. No matter what you try here, you'll make little impression. If she doesn't smile within the first five minutes, get out of there.
- sparkling 

The sparkle is for them, not you. Also known as gold-diggers, these see you as just another accessory to complement (and hopefully pay for) their individual style.
- red 

Short for red-hot, these are the whirlwind passionate women you can't resist, so don't even try. Unfortunately, they invariably turn out to be femme fatales, meaning they'll kill you. But at least they're worth dying for.

Has this helped you? Learn this: any woman you meet is dangerous, far more dangerous than crossing the street. But danger always brings an adrenaline rush, and many dangers are good for you--as long as you survive them, that is. Remember the old adage, 'You can't live with them, can't live without them.' Men are clearly the weaker sex, despite their proud boasts. What's a poor boy to do? Study the whine list? Or start drinking beer--alone?

Times Sunday Man, August 19th, 2001
© Kenneth Rowley, 2001

Men--Two Poems

Men

When I was young, I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street. Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them. Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there. Fifteen
Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pause,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,
Men.

One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world. Then
They tighten up. Just a little. The
First squeeze is nice. A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness. A little
More. The hurt begins. Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear. When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops, exploding fiercely, briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match. Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs. Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut. Forever.
No keys exist.

Then the window draws full upon
Your mind. There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maybe.

[Maya Angelou]

Bloody men

Bloody men are like bloody buses
You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You're trying to read the destinations,
You haven't much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off, and you'll stand there and gaze
While the cars and the taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.

[Wendy Cope]

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Quotable quote

"Crimes against womanhood are as old as sin. From the day that the serpent beguiled Eve by his craftiness until now, there have been few days or nights when some daughter of Eve has not been deceived or forced into an evil life by some serpent or other."

from 'Fighting the Traffic in Young Girls', a Project Gutenberg eBook

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